Silently Hoping You’ll End Up With Me

“All the butterflies I felt inside never really mattered, wishful thoughts and sudden smiles end up being shattered.”

There’re always going to be times when we remember our past love. It has been 8 months since we broke up, and I can proudly say that the pain in my heart has slowly healed and I’m in the process of building myself up again. However, there are times when I yearn for his presence, his encouraging words, his comforting hugs. There are times when I can really admit that I yearn for him, that I miss him.

I’m never the same person I was before, and I never will be. There are fragments of our love that will remain in me, all the beautiful memories that come crashing in and out of my mind; in the most unexpected times and in the most unexpected places. It is during my devastating situations that I crave for his words, that I crave for his comfort. It is during those sad moments I encounter that I am able to remind myself that he’s no longer beside me anymore. It is during my downfalls that I want him to stay by my side, tell me it’s okay and that I can make it through. But sadly, all these would never be again true.

“Time may pass us by, but you stay stuck on my mind.”

I’m still asking myself where did I go wrong, why did he had to leave? Even though I know the answer, sometimes my thoughts fail to grasp it. I’ve been experiencing terrible downfalls this past few days, and my usual response was to talk to him about it. He was always the ear to my problems and the words to my solutions. It aches me to know that my knight in shining armor has finally retired and gone. It hurts me to know that my once prince has now left the castle and decided that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with me.

“I held on to something that never really mattered, stuck on the starting line.”

I still wonder why you had to come deep in to my life when you know you can’t stay. I still wonder why you gave me all those memories that I now want to forget. I still wonder why this love of mine for you is still as strong as it was before. I still wonder why,

“I’m still silently, quietly hoping you’ll end up with me.”